Living in Autumn

Really…like for real??!!

Posted on: February 10, 2012

Last week at bible study my pastor taught from a very common passage in Exodus; the talk Moses had with God after he’d seen the burning bush. I’ve read this same passage a bunch of times I’m sure. I’ve heard this passage preached several times. And I mean, “tie your shoes run around the church shouting”, type preaching. But that night, one phrase stuck out to me from the passage.

<blockquote>“Who am I that, I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”</blockquote>

Moses sounded just like me at this point. I’ve asked Him similar questions at various points in my life. When I first found out I was going to become a mother, it was me and the bathroom mirror and God somewhere in between. “Me?! You want me to raise a child?! You know my patience ain’t but this **snaps fingers** long! ME?” When my husband proposed, I said yes, of course. But in my mind I’m thinking, “ ME?! A wife? Submitting? WHAT!!?? God, come on! You know I’m a bit selfish and you know I like my space. Me?!” When God told me to start my business, I ran from that vision for two years, because like Moses, all I could think of was my faults that would prevent me from carrying out that dream. “Not me God. Remember the last thing you told me to do, I dropped the ball. My track record isn’t the best. I have no experience on how to be an entrepreneur. Man God, I can barely balance my checkbook! Me??? !!”

As I was reading this text, I had a flashback to all these occasions. And truth is I knew it was something I was still currently struggling with. Than God said something to me very clearly and bluntly (that’s how He has to deal with me.)
He said, “You don’t believe in yourself? Fine. Believe in me.”

It was simple and straight to the point but it did wonders for me. Because at the end of the day, my fears would be relevant if I was doin this thang by myself. But I’m not. And quite frankly, if the vision I was given, was achievable through my own power than it prolly wasn’t from God. God made the purpose for my life so huge so that I would have to grow completely dependent on Him to ever accomplish it. I find comfort in that. At least I know that He ain’t leavin me out here alone.

My pastor says it best I think. It ain’t about how great you aren’t, but it’s about how great He IS! Yep, definitely glad He didn’t leave me to conquer the world all by myself. It would’ve taken me forever… =)



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